Paris to get her inheritance after all.

Alas the story I posted regarding Paris Hilton losing out on her inheritence is most likely a hoax. I had a feeling it was when I posted it, but it was just too titilating a thought to pass up on.

Hehe... I said "titilating".

I did it!

I passed my CompTIA Network+ exam. I should be getting my certificate in the mail in the next four to six weeks.

I'm very excited!

Oops: Paris Hilton loses inheretance?

Can this be true? Is Paris out of the will? Can she survive without the silver spoon in her mouth? Will she have to downgrade to a three bedroom bumgelow from her current mansion? Will she have to learn to cook and clean for herself?

Details forthcoming... whether you want them or not.

Married to a Celebrity

My wife has apparently made her debut on YouTube.com. She shows up in a couple of videos, one outlining the catering department (where she works) and the other interviewing the Executive Chef (whom she works for). Here's the video for your enjoyment... I just hope all this fortune and fame doesn't go to her head.

On Paintballing and Other Crimes Against Humanity

Ok, it has been far too long since I've posted anything. In fact, it's coming on to two weeks since my last post, so I figured I'd take a minute of my lunch break and post something about what I've been up to in the last week and a half or so.

First off there was PIR and the motorcycle racing that typically happens there once or twice (or thrice) a month. It was particularly interesting because we had the GPRU guys racing which brought in some top notch riders. The GPRU races were a ton of fun to watch Elana Meyers and Nobi Iso duked it out for first place in the 125 races. Elaina kept out braking Nobi coming into turn 1, but he was smoking her on the straights so it didn't do her any good adn they ended up finishing with Nobi in first place and Elana in second. Aside from that the racing was fun, there were a couple of injuries requiring ambulance transport, but one was due to a broken leg and the other was more of a precautionary event I think. The guy was complaining about a tingling in his leg, but was able to recognize people and talk normally. I suspect he pinched a nerve or something, which definitely beats the alternatives.

Last saturday I went paintballing for the first time ever. I still carry bruises on my chest, stomach, sides, and arms. I have to say, getting hit by a paintball hurts like hell. I discovered that they don't hurt quite as much when they break than they do when they don't break, but only about one in five breaks on impact. It probably wouldn't have been so bad, except that I'd never done it before so I was wearing a relatively thin sweatshirt over a t-shirt. As far as the overall experience goes I'll probably pass on future excursions. I just don't see the fun of getting pelted by little plastic paint filled balls, then walking away with multiple bruises. If I ever am insane enough to go back out there I'll have more padding and will be wearing camoflage.

Aside from all that there isn't much else going on. I'm in the throws of studying for the Network+ certification, which is kind of interesting, but mostly boring. I'm not inclined to really care what the difference between a class A, B, or C network is, or how the subnet mask works, or what the 7 layers of the OSI model are and what they represent. That said, the certification will look good on my resume, so I'm willing to put up with it. Besides... my company is paying for it.

Oh, I feel a rant coming on...

RIAA is pure evil.

That's all I'll say about that.

Who realy loses?

I'm sure you've seen that picture before, it's an iconic photo of the Vietnam War much like the photo of the marines raising the flag above Iwo Jima was for World War II. I've seen the photo many times in the past and always kind of wondered what happened to that poor little girl running away from what must have been the most terrifying thing she'd ever experienced in her life.

Well, today I ran across this article about how she has come to terms with her trauma. It turns out that while she still bears physical and emotional scars from the event, she has gone on to become a wife and mother. She's an advocate for peace, and has managed to come to terms with her pain.

She is a stark reminder of who the real victims are in a war. It is not the governments who wage the war nor the soldiers who fight in it who suffer. It is the children who are too young to understand what's happening. It is the wives and mothers of the soldiers killed in battle. It is the man killed while doing nothing more than riding his bicycle to the corner market. These are the real victims in a war. We often talk about the marine who refused to leave his buddy behind even though it might mean losing his own life as being heroes. Certainly this is as it should be, but we often overlook the real heroes. We forget about 9 year old Kim Phuc who spent years undergoing surgeries and treatments to repair the physical and psychological trauma she suffered. She and others like her are the real unsung heroes of the war. She may not have taken a bullet for anyone, but she's still alive when I am sure there were times when it would have been much easier and far less painful to simply end her own life.

To persevere through that much pain? That sounds pretty heroic to me.

Ducky!

If you actually pay attention to the news, and God knows I don't, then you'll know that the world we live in is full of death, destruction, and mayhem. Turn on the news and you're more likely to see something about all the children in Iraq being bombed and stuff. So it's pretty nice when you get to find something fun, something that makes you smile just a little bit.

Enter the duck.



Apparently, France is having some sort of art festival and one of the artists built a giant rubber ducky which is very happily floating around in the harbor. I have this image in my head (being a former navy man) of the conversation between the forward lookouts and the bridge of a naval vessal coming into the harbor...

Lookout: Port lookout to bridge, we have a contact bearing 030 off the port bow.

Bridge: Can you identify the contact?

Lookout: It's a rubber ducky.

Bridge: Be serious sailor, what is the contact?

Lookout: I AM serious, it's a large rubber ducky.

I have to imagine the look on the faces of anyone reading the deck log of that ship years later after the ship was decommissioned.

071307 09:00 - Giant rubber duck spotted at 030 degrees off the port bow. OOD ordered heading change to 290 to avoid it.

But enough silliness.

If you'd like to see more pictures, you can find them on the artist's website.

How you spell "relief? I spell it A/C.

I finally broke down and bought an Air Conditioner for mt wife and I.



I went to the Home Depot only to find that they had just four left, and those were the $600 portable kind.

I was not willing to spend that much.

So I went to Lowes instead and picked up the above beauty for a mere $208. The installation was fairly simple, although there is no way I could have done it by myself. The problem was that the thing's heavy as hell. I just about killed myself carrying it from the car into the apartment, but installing it wasn't too terrible.

But, it's in and I love it! It's going to be so nice to come home from work and not melt as soon as I get in the house. It really sucks when it's 95 degrees out and actually cooler outside than in.

All I have to say is "ahhhhhhh".

What mental disorder do you have?

The latest in mental problems I didn't know I had. It must be true because the quiz said so.

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) You have a very hard time focusing, and you find it difficult to stay on task without your mind wandering. You probably zone in and out of conversations and tend to miss out on directions because you cannot focus
Paranoia
Manic Depressive
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

Do you deserve your High School Diploma?

Amazingly enough, I do.

You paid attention during 91% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

How Oregon are you?

You are 92% Oregon

Congratulations! You are a native Oregonian. Pick up your honorary singing salmon plaque at City Hall.

How Oregon are you?
Quizzes for MySpace

Gun Safety: Gun's don't kill people, idiots kill people with guns

After reading this article, I feel somewhat compelled to write about an issue I feel rather strongly for. That is the issue of gun safety. I don't feel that events like this require new legislation banning or regulating guns, but I do feel that this warrants a push for Hunter Safety education. I don't think the few incidents like this that occur each year are enough to warrant making such education mandatory, but I do think a bigger push is in order. I mean when was the last time you heard an advertisement for hunter education?

That's my point.

I know that in the past I have questioned the relevance of the second amendment, but I felt that I wanted to post some basic gun safety tips as a sort of way to contribute to the betterment of the world at large, or some such thing like that. I am fully aware that the few regular readers of this blog are either already gun enthusiasts who know the subject, or have no interest in firearm safety at all.

This blog isn't for you.

This blog is for the random reader who has an interest in guns, but doesn't know the first thing about safety. I figure if I can at the very least make one person stop and think before they do something stupid and get themselves or someone else hurt, I'm pretty happy. So with that in mind, here goes.

What follows are a few rules for gun safety:

1) The gun is always loaded... ALWAYS. I don't care if you "know" it's not loaded, treat it as if it is. Breaking this rule is the cardinal sin of hunting, don't do it.

2) Remembering rule number 1, mind your muzzle. Never allow the muzzle to point at another person. This is especially important in the case of handguns. I can't begin to tell you how often I've seen people holding a pistol in their hand and begin waving it around as they talk. I don't have an issue with talking with your hands, just don't do it when you're also holding a handgun.

3) Never point the gun at something you don't intend to shoot. I think this is pretty self explanitory. (Are you starting to detect a theme here?)

4) Never shoot at something without knowing what's behind it. In other words, don't just assume the bullet is going to hit your target. Make sure there's something behind it to stop the bullet. A pile of dirt is best. At the very least, make sure you're not shooting toward a road or trail or something. It would really suck to leave your hunting or target practicing session only to get arrested because you accidentally shot some poor hiker or something. Be aware of your surroundings, and if there is any doubt about what you're shooting at... don't.

5) Always wear hunter orange when out hunting. I'm sure you've seen it, it's that bright orange that most hunting vests come in. Deer are color blind, but humans aren't. Since deer are unlikely to accidentally shoot you... well... I think you get the idea. I can't even begin to tell you how many hunting accidents occur because someone was mistaken for a deer.

6) Never engage in horseplay with a gun. You'll note I didn't specify a "loaded gun"... see rule number one. Too many "jokes" wind up in tragedy. I'm game for a good practical joke like anyone else, however it's not funny if someone dies as a result.

Ok, so I think I've driven this topic into the ground. I could go on with home safety tips like don't be stupid and leave a gun out where children can get to them, or leave them loaded, or a myriad of other things. I won't for now, but I might if the mood strikes later.

Traffic Stopped Along Boones Ferry Road

Lake Oswego, OR - Traffic was stopped in both directions along Boones Ferry Road in Lake Oswego this morning. Construction along the south bound shoulder was responsible for the delay. Drivers were terribly inconvenienced.

Hmm... maybe I should write for the local newspaper.

The truth is that traffic did, in fact, stop along Boones Ferry Rd. this morning, however the cause was not the construction. As a matter of fact, the work along the shoulder hadn't even gotten any further than placing out the various warning signs when traffic was stopped.

The cause?

A large, black lab who decided he needed to cross the street to say hello to the workers.

I found it to be highly amusing really. As I was passing the workers I noticed trafic in both directions was stopping, when I looked in my rear view mirror I saw the dog very happily standing in the middle of the road, tail wagging vigerously, as he approached the workers to see what they were up to.

Now that's news worth reporting.

People have far too much time on their hands

I was trying to get some further information on a traffic accident that happened yesterday when I ran accross this little gem. Apparently Keizer, Oregon has installed some posts that are intended to act as a barrier between pedestrians and any cars that might come crashing at them. This isn't terribly unusual, most cities have these types of posts installed in various locations, however these particular posts are causing a stir not because of where they are, but because of what they look like.

My friends, I give you the forest of phallicy.

Yup, Keiser is now the proud owner of a bunch of cement dildoes.



While I can't deny the... umm... resemblence, I have to wonder if we've become so prudish that we can't have anything in a public place that might possibly even remotely resemble a penis. It seems to me that people need to stop worrying about these so called cement dicks and start worrying about important things like the meth lab down the street.

I'd also like to point out that I really don't think metal collars and chains will help as is suggested by the article. If anything it will just add to the problem. Instead of just a phallic symbol, you'll have a phallic symbol with an S&M bent to it. If they do that they might as well install a metal ring on the tip.

Either that or just give it a Prince Albert.

The Fourth of July: Blowing Shit up Since 1776

Independence Day is, arguably, one of my favorite holidays. I mean come on, who doesn't like a chance to blow shit up without getting arrested for it? I had a good day for the most part. I ended up getting my feelings hurt, but it turned out to be due to a misunderstanding/miscommunication so I'm much better now.

That's all I'll say about that.

The day definitely started out on the right foot. I went with my wife and in-laws to see "Live Free or Die Hard". We caught the early show at 9:55am which is a first for me. While I am usually awake at that time, the people around me (*cough* my wife *cough*) are usually just beginning to think about stirring, so generally speaking, if it isn't work related or otherwise important I'm still at home.

As for the movie, I thought it was pretty good. Very action packed with lots and lots of explosions. One thing I really liked is that they didn't go overboard with the CGI effects, it looked like they pretty much went with the old school effects and stunts. I found that to be very refreshing.

Aside from the movie, I played video games for a good portion of the day. Ratchet: Deadlocked is my addiction of choice these days. I'm still playing WoW, but not as much as I used to. As I've said before, my interest is waning but I'm not quite ready to hang up my staff yet.

Anyway, I digress. To say yesterday was hot would be a bit of an understatement, it was damn hot. So I ended up going swimming at the apartment pool with my in-laws. That's always fun, although the other people around the pool were... colorful... to say the least. They weren't bad or anything like that, just a bunch of high school kids hanging out (which I can't blame them for). It was wierd watching them from an adult perspective, like some sort of wierd anthropological experiment. I felt a little like Jane Goodall living amongst the chimpanzees of Africa.

I named one of them "Bobo".

Anyway, it was interesting listening to one of the boys (it started out with just a couple of girls, but they left and we ended up with nearly a dozen boys) complain that one of the girls would come over to use the pool, get him to let her in, then invite other boys over and basically ignore him. I really wanted to take him aside and tell him to just let her go 'cause, man, she be playin' him.

But I didn't.

I felt that it was best not to interfere with the chimps, lest something about my influence should change the way their society evolves. So, I just observed and let nature take its course. It wasn't pretty either, but sacrifices must be made in the name of science. I briefly contemplated shooting him to put him out of his misery, but apparantly there are laws against that sort of thing.

Anyway, I'm in pretty high spirits today. I got blood drawn,which I hate, but my father is going to be in town, which I like... so it all balances out in the end.

Call it some sort of cosmic mishmash Karma thingy.

Or not.

A fool and his iPhone....

There is an old addage, "a fool and his money are soon parted" that statement has suddenly become extremely relevant as the Apple iPhone went on sale last friday. Since then people have been snatching them up like ravenous dogs fighting over the rotten table scraps on the floor.

Well, ok, perhaps that was a tad melodramatic... but check out eBay, I especially like the jackass trying to sell one off for over $200,000. Check out the seller's math justifying the price... it's dizzying to say the least.

But wait! There's more!

Not only are people scrambling around to have one, but people are buying up iPhone related email addresses and domain names like crazy. What's really insane is that most of these are Hotmail and Yahoo accounts you can get for free to begin with.

So, what does your $500 - $600 get you? You get a cell phone with a really cool touch screen interface combined with an 8 Gb iPod in one unit. The problem? You also get AT&T wireless service which... how should I say this... sucks the proverbial ass. Everything I've heard about it has been that the interface is really nice and the phone is really sleek and easy to use. Unfortunately, Apple chose to partner with AT&T so you're locked into their service plan if you want one of these things. The last I heard, AT&T has awful wireless coverage meaning that you'll spend most of your time searching for a signal. So the bottom line is that you'll pay a ton of money for what amounts to a fancy looking 8 Gb iPod.

All that said, fear not, for I have an idea. If you really MUST have an iPhone then here's what you do. Go down to your local electronics store and buy yourself a 30 or 80 Gb iPod, then go to your local Verizon store and buy yourself a $200 cell phone (or cheaper), then super clue them back to back. Once you've done that you've got yourself your very own iPhone and you only spent $400 to $500 or less which is still cheaper than buying an iPhone and the wireless service is much better.

God I'm freakin' brilliant.