On Losing Weight and other things

My wife and I have decided we need to lose some weight. I suppose this isn't news really, I've been bitching about my weight for a long time, but haven't ever done anything about it. Yesterday we went to the LA Weight Loss Center and spoke with them about their program... between the two of us they want $1200... up front. At that point we said "no". Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty decent program. They tailor it to your lifestyle so you can live your life and still lose weight... it's just damned expensive.

But that still leaves us trying to decide what to do... so I, being the problem solver that I am, have come up with a few ideas:

1) Eat raw cookie dough... it has zero calories because they haven't been baked in yet.

2) Move to Ethiopia for a couple of years.

3) one word... "tapeworm"

4) Burn calories by having lots and lots of hot monkey sex.

5) Get rid of the monkeys and just have sex.

6) Move to mexico, drink the water.

7) Pick a letter from the alphabet, subsist for an entire day only on items that start with that letter.

8) bite off more than you can chew.

9) Get exercise by going to a "bad" part of town and playing a rousing game of Dodge Bullet.

10) Eat nothing but fingernail clippings for a week.

Yup, I think those are some pretty good ideas... I'm especially fond of numbers 4 and 5.

All joking aside, I've realized that losing weight is really a mind over matter kind of deal. You have to want it badly enough to change the way you live your life. In my case it's extra important because I have high blood pressure. Here's a short list of things (since I appear to be in a list kind of mood) I can see are bad habits in my eating (this one's serious):

1) Skipping meals... breakfast specifically.

2) Eating too large of a portion during meals.

3) Fast food is my downfall.

4) Ordering off the value menu and then adding to it either by supersizing it, adding extra items, or both.

5) Choosing convenient over healthy.

6) Three words... world of warcraft (more on this topic later)

7) A decided lacking in excercise.

8) Making decisions on my grocery purchases based on price not health factor

9) Too much salt

10) Too many processed items.

I know that I can lose the weight I need, I just need the discipline to do it. Part of that means a) not skipping meals, b) playing less World of Warcraft and more Golf, and c) just being disciplined enough to choose healthy over convenient. It isn't easy to make these kinds of changes in my life, but I know I can do it... I just need to put in the effort... and at roughly 305 lbs I can't affoard not to. I owe this to myself, my wife, and all the people who love me.